Panda G.A.S. Mask – Mask 295

March 7, 2011 – Panda G.A.S. Mask

I’ll be honest with you today.  Most people see pandas and think they’re adorable.  I wouldn’t argue that but it’s not what I see.  I see what is probably a fantastic meal.  Bear with me, I’m not saying we eat such an endangered species BUT… think of it like the mighty bison.  In 1983 there were fewer than a 1,000 and efforts were put into place to save these iconic creatures.  In 2011 you can go to most grocery stores and buy a pound of ground bison for about $8… and let me tell you it tastes amazing.  When it comes to regular beef burgers I like ’em with all the fixin’s and piled extra high, with a bison burger all I need is a little bit of chopped garlic mixed in and it’s better than most steaks at a fancy steakhouse.  Are you putting two and two together here?  I think we should start farming pandas for food (DISCLAIMER: Realistically I know that is a very hard task but bear with me on my exotic food fantasy).  Here’s why I think of all the animals, pandas would make terrific treats.  I’m not really a fan of veil but the concept is solid.  A animal that does not strain its muscles would have a more tender meat.  When was the last time you heard about a panda doing anything but sitting around eating bamboo?  They ARE nature’s veil.  You’ll hate me for saying so but I hope I live to see the day that the panda population is in the hundreds of thousands so I can find out what a magnificent panda filet wrapped in bacon would actually taste like.  Then again maybe I just read too much Vonnegut.

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